Surprise! You didn’t see that coming, did you? Yes, I am black, or African-American, if you like.
I will do my best to make this as short and painless as possible, mainly because (like most people, I guess) I hate talking about myself. It sounds like bragging, and once I start, it’s hard as hell to put on the brakes.
For the most part, I’m quiet and prefer being indoors. However, when I’m out, I’m a monster. It always feels like I’ve been let out of a cage and I behave accordingly. I become a completely different person, dancing in supermarkets, drinking and getting high with friends, and so forth. I’m bipolar, which is a result of my being autistic with a co-occurrence of ADHD (typically referred to as AuDHD). Depression and anxiety are also part of my day-to-day, but I function well with my medications.
In recent years, I’ve come to believe that the word “genius” was created either by someone who wasn’t too smart, or an idiot. One day, someone saw another person doing something they couldn’t do and dubbed that person with the esteemed label. While I do get why they say it, I’ve always been uncomfortable with being called a genius. Am I intelligent? Sure. But everything I know I learned because I have a voracious appetite for knowledge, I wasn’t born with magical powers. The other thing I do is read from source materials from actual scientists, doctors, engineers, and so forth. Newspapers, magazines, and news reports are far too limited in their ability to publish the vast amount of information required to understand any particular subject. Between the ages of ten and sixteen, I used to receive reams of documents on the space program from NASA (the National Aeronautics and Space Administration) and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. When I say that I’ve researched something, this is the level of research I’m talking about.
My father built a library in our home containing an encyclopedia and books on every subject imaginable, so I guess that helped in the smarts department too.
By the time I hit high school, I had begun cutting classes. Why? So that I could have more time to read. My neurodivergent brain started craving knowledge to the point I started robbing book stores, libraries (sorry), and a book distributor. Somehow I made it to graduation, depite my abysmal grades. I attended three colleges, but hardly went and never earned a degree. Still, I can converse with any university professor on any subject and, as I mentioned above, people mistakenly belive that I’m a genius.
Being a nerd never stopped me from getting into a fight, though. I’ve said before that I’m smart, but too stupid to be afraid, and it’s true. Bullies never tried me, and it was because everyone thought I was crazy. That reputation has stayed with me my entire life. I’m good fun crazy with my friends, but I’m bad crazy when it comes to assholes, creeps, and crooks.
I’ve been into all genres of music (even polka and country), for as long as I can remember, but rock and roll was the only music that made me feel like a god. Despite being a straight ‘A’ student, I’ve awlays had this rebellious nature that rock music seems to amp up. I think it’s because I always knew that we live in an unjust world. I grew up around mostly Irish, Italian, and Jews, and the few black kids I associated with used to call me a “white boy” because of my intelligence, tastes, and preference in company (long story, and you’re not getting it here). That changed when my mom and stepdad moved the family to St. Croix in the United States Virgin Islands (of which there are three). It was there that my “white boy-ness” dissipated into nothing. I began studying African and African-American history and getting involved in cultural and political events. My mother was the one who pushed me in that direction. She was my bestie and always entertained my interests, whether it was science, art, or history. I have to give credit to my father, however, for building that library and getting me a microscope and a telescope, making me the biggest nerd in the neighborhood.
background art by bunintheoven
What the hell happened to me during the nineties? I went from wearing a fresh suit everyday at Merrill Lynch, to drinking forties, smoking blunts, hanging in the streets, and hustling in one of the worst neighborhoods in the Bronx, New York. Some of what I did in those days was out of necessity, sometimes out of greed, and occasionally, just for the fuck of it. I’ve done things out of anger and revenge, but I have never committed a crime against family or friends.
It’s incredible that I have no criminal record, because I was a great criminal. Most hustlers (and reprobates in general) are loud braggart, I was an unassuming nerd. The line in that song where Biggie Smalls says, “Real bad boys move in silence”? True. I’ve been laughed at by friends who were hustlers themselves the few times I mentioned what I’d been up to. I always had the last laugh, though, because playing the weird, silent nerd served me well. On several occasion, I’ve watched my “real hustlers” friends get carted off by the police while I stood amongst them with enough drugs to have me tossed in the van with them. It genuinely freaked me out because it was like I was invisible.
I’ve always been an on-again, off-again activist, speaker, and protestor, and I was part of a few “radical” organizations (one of which ended up with me being surveilled by the FBI). I never committed to the struggle because, from time to time, I would get frustrated by the indifference of people ignorant of what was happening in the U.S. and around the world. I felt like I was wasting my time.
Having lived on both ends of the societal spectrum, I learned a lot about myself and about people. I’ve been in situations where most people would have given up, but being homeless didn’t depress me; I actually enjoyed myself regardless of my circumstances. I was hungry and homeless at one point, and during that time of sleeping on rooftops, couches, and on the subway, I taught myself to build websites, manage social media, and navigate the web. I quickly made a name for myself, though later on, I wished that I had used my real name because there is no record of “Patrick Chappelle” being involved in any web or app project during the late 2000s to early 2010s.
On the other hand, I’ve attended red carpet galas, dined with the wealthy in their homes, and met some amazing models who made for great company. This was the result of a luxury e-mag I founded and published for six glorious years before Neuerotica (which I built on its ashes, so if you go back far enough through our articles, you might see some of those stories). Then the pandemic killed it, and here we are.
On the social tip, when I’m not writing or out getting shit-faced with friends, I’m at home reading books and comics, watching anime, or doing it up with my “brides” (juicy story for another time). Some of my favorite anime are Hell’s Paradise, Symphogear, High School DxD, TOUGEN ANKI, and Gachiakuta (I also grew up on old-school anime, and my first writing gig was a review of the Blade of the Immortal manga). I’m a hardcore romantic, so, of course, I’m into romance anime like My Dress-Up Darling. I occasionally read manga as well.
I’m ending this tedious “short” bio on the women in my life, and women in general. If you respect my intelligence and empathy, women (family, friends, and strangers) are responsible for inculcating those things in me. This is also true of most of the better qualities I possess. There are four women in my life right now who I call my brides (their choice, and it’s a long story). No playing, pimping, or cheating involved. We’re all neurodivergent, love each other, and share a strong bond. I take care of whatever they need, from a few bucks to help managing their mental health. I think it’s safe to say that we’re all sluts too.
To say that I “get along” with women would be an understatement. With the exception of two close friends, all of my friends are women. I don’t care for men much for reasons I’m sure any woman can easily guess. Some women have said that the reason I attract women the way I do is because of my “autistic charm” (that’s a thing, I guess), others have said it’s because I listen to women, whereas most men do not. I’d have to say that it’s because I respect and protect women, and I’m a feminist ally.