Surprise! You didn’t see that coming, did you? Yes, I am black, or African-American, if you choose.
I will do my best to make this as short and painless as possible, mainly because (like most people, I guess) I hate talking about myself. It sounds like bragging, and once I start, it’s hard as hell to put on the brakes.
If there were such a term as “thug nerd”, that might apply to me. My intelligence doesn’t preclude me from fighting if I have to, but I’m smart enough to know that settling differences without violence is a strength. Growing up, I enjoyed learning and hated bullies who were smart enough to leave me the fuck alone. From grade school up to now, people have always called me “crazy”, so they kept their distance. While I was a quiet, straight-A student, I could be wild, weird, and unpredictable when provoked. My autistic justice sensitivity can be as intense as my empathy for others.
From the time I heard my first song, I’ve been into all genres of music (even polka and country), but rock and roll was the only music that made me feel like a god with a “fuck you and fuck the world” attitude. I grew up around mostly white people (Irish and Italian, to be exact), and the few black kids I associated with used to call me a “white boy” because of my intelligence and tastes. That changed when my mom and stepdad moved the family to St. Croix in the United States Virgin Islands (of which there are three). It was there that my “white boy-ness” dissipated into nothing. I began studying African and African-American history and getting involved in cultural events. My mother was the one who pushed me in that direction. She was my bestie and always entertained my interests, whether it was science, art, or history. I have to give credit to my father, however, for building a library in our livingroom, from which I stayed engrossed in the world of knowledge at my disposal. His other contribution to my learning was a microscope and a telescope, making me the biggest nerd in the neighborhood. My friend’s big brother, who was a Marine, hooked me up with the space program, and every other month, I would receive packages from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) full of information about the space program, documents of general astronomical information, and photographs of interstellar objects. As an artist, I would design and draw various starships and send them to NASA, and someone would reply, explaining why they wouldn’t be feasible given the limited technology at the time.
This period of my life was the spark that ignited my unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
background art by bunintheoven
Unless you possess a university degree, it’s probably not a good idea to argue about anything related to science with someone who was good at proving his teachers wrong as a child (I once unintentionally embarrassed one of my junior high science teachers by proving him wrong with documentation). My interest in (and limited knowledge of) the sciences is responsible for my aversion to superstition: astrology, religion, ghosts, etc. If you never want to be my friend (or girlfriend), just ask me what my zodiac sign is, and it’ll never happen. You need to explain how something works, and if you can’t, I won’t listen. Of all the subjects I'm passionate about, the sciences are the ones I’m most knowledgeable about. I never earned a university degree, but I can discuss any subject with any professor. I’ve been called a “genius”, but as any wise man can tell you, there’s no such thing. It’s a myth.
Intelligence didn’t prevent me from committing crimes. Some of it was out of necessity, sometimes for greed, and occasionally, as a dare. There were times I’ve done it out of anger and revenge, but I have never committed a crime against family or friends. Whatever I’ve done pales in comparison to others I’ve known who were in the Mafia (I once dated a girl who was the daughter of a mob figure), Irish Mob, and street gangs. These were all people whom I happened to meet; I wasn’t looking. One time, I served as a bodyguard for one of the biggest drug kingpins in New York (I had no idea they were real until then). There was a period when I sold drugs, took drugs, and committed a few crimes here and there; all of the typical hood stuff. I’m a great thief; as a teen, I stole books, as a college student, I stole booze. Aside from a ticket or three, I’m fortunate to have no criminal record. Most hustlers are loud about what they do; I was an unassuming nerd, and bragging is something I’m awful at. The line in that song where Biggie Smalls says, “Real bad boys move in silence”? True. Friends who were hustlers would laugh at me the few times I mentioned what I’d been doing. Playing the weird, silent nerd served me because (on several occasions) I’ve watched my friends get carted off by the police while I stood amongst them with enough drugs to have me tossed in the van with them.
I’ve always been an on-again, off-again activist, speaker, and protestor, and I was part of a few “radical” organizations (one of which ended up with me being surveilled by the FBI). I never committed to the struggle because, from time to time, I would get frustrated by the indifference of people ignorant of what was happening in the U.S. and around the world. I felt like I was wasting my time. Whenever another police shooting of an unarmed African American happened, I’d be back, but not for long.
Having lived on both ends of the societal spectrum, I learned a lot about myself and about people. I’ve always said that I’m too stupid to stay down. I’ve been in situations where most people would have given up, but being homeless didn’t depress me; I actually enjoyed myself regardless of my circumstances. I was hungry and homeless at one point, and during that time of sleeping on rooftops, couches, and on the subway, I taught myself to build websites, manage social media, and navigate the web. I quickly made a name for myself, though later on, I wished that I had used my real name because there is no record of “Patrick Chappelle” being involved in any web or app project during the late 2000s to early 2010s.
On the other hand, I’ve attended red carpet galas, dined with the wealthy in their homes, and met some amazing models who made for great company. This was the result of a luxury e-mag I founded and published for six glorious years before Neuerotica (which I built on its ashes, so if you go back far enough through our articles, you might see some of those stories). Then the pandemic killed it, and here we are.
On the social tip, when I’m not writing or out getting shit-faced with friends, I’m at home reading books and comics, watching anime, or doing it up with my “brides” (juicy story for another time). Some of my favorite anime are Hell’s Paradise, Symphogear, High School DxD, TOUGEN ANKI, and Gachiakuta (I also grew up on old-school anime, and my first writing gig was a review of the Blade of the Immortal manga). I’m a hardcore romantic, so, of course, I’m into romance anime like My Dress-Up Darling. I occasionally read manga as well.
I’m ending this tedious “short” bio on women; the women in my life, and women in general. If you respect my intelligence and empathy, women (family, friends, and strangers) are responsible for inculcating those things in me. This is also true of most of the better qualities I possess. There are four women in my life right now who I call my brides (their choice, and it’s a long story). I’m not cheating on them, and I don’t brag about it like I’m some player or pimp. All of us are neurodivergent, love each other, and share a strong bond. I take care of their needs, whatever they may be. Most importantly, I do what I can to help them through their mental health issues (Without getting into too many details, it can be brutal sometimes. The fact that I once helped to take care of a friend’s mom and my grandmother a year later, I don’t know where my patience and strength come from.) I don’t mean to make it sound depressing, believe me, we have a lot of fun together, and I enjoy doing things for them. If that sounds weird to you, then you’re never going to believe my everyday interactions with other women. I know I said that I don’t believe in the supernatural, but if you hang out with me for a few days, you’ll see it (cue Twilight Zone theme).
background image by thosewireddreams